


Don't worry, there will be tacos

by bullwinkle



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Complete, Deadpool Saves The Day, Random & Short, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bullwinkle/pseuds/bullwinkle
Summary: Tony is seventeen and has been kidnapped by mad scientists again. It's taken him longer than usual to escape so when a diversion comes Tony doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth.





	Don't worry, there will be tacos

The compound was rocked by the explosion and Tony thanked his lucky stars as his tormentor’s grip loosened. “Stay HERE” the man in the labcoat snarled and Tony ground his teeth as he was shoved against the wall and his head knocked painfully against the brick. “Hey, watch the merchandise Ralph!” Snarked the Stark, rubbing the back of his head. He knew that was what he was here for. Everyone wanted a piece of him, he was a Stark after all. Oh, but here? Here they didn’t just want his genius. Yeah sure, they had tried for a few weeks to get anything out of him that they could but that’s not what they were after. They wanted _a piece of his brain_. Fucking literally.

So really, the explosion was a gift. A gift from someone unknown but to whom Tony was eternally grateful as he went ahead and implemented his own escape plan he had been working on since he woke up in this hell-hole six weeks ago. This wasn’t his first rodeo and it wouldn’t be his last.

He grabbed the keycard he had swiped in his right hand and ran towards where he calculated there would be an exit (what? He’s been in a cell for six weeks and he only has so much information to go off of. He’s a genius, not a miracle worker).

He’s skidding to a stop and staring down a long corridor into the face of a dead man missing half his face when he hears laughing. Not evil cackling, not “you belong in the loony bin” crazy shit, just honest to god LAUGHING. Here. In this fucking lab, out in the middle of who-the-fuck-knows-where with no one but crazy assholes and pain to keep you company. Tony isn’t sure if he has finally lost it but the chances are definitely about 50/50 when he turns the corner and sees a man in a black and red costume laughing merrily and leading one of the mad scientists around the room by his ear.

Tony’s heart-rate skyrockets as he runs toward the door across the way when the costumed man breaks off his laughter to tell Tony “the exit is that way kiddo,” pointing to the door behind him and to the left. And while, under normal circumstances, Tony would argue that at seventeen he is by no means a child, now seems like a bad idea to draw further attention to himself. The man’s red and black clad face turns back to the cowering object of his fury as he begins to ramble about the glories of pancakes in the ear of said scientist (who has definitely peed himself at this point).

The moment those eyes were no longer upon him Tony opens the door in front of him to find a closet and without looking to see what it contains he sprints towards the door the crazy man had pointed out. As he runs down another hallway he could have sworn he heard a sing-song “see-I-told-you” followed by something vaguely like “why do they always assume I’m untrustworthy?” but he doesn’t give it another thought as he realizes the “exit” the man had spoken to was in fact the site of the explosion. And what meets his eyes is a gaping hole leading out to his freedom.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Four hours later Tony was over it. He had been walking barefoot in a cold marshy area outside the compound for thirty minutes when the crazy man ran up to him asking why “the damsel in distress hadn’t waited?” At which point an additional forty minutes was spent as Wade (crazy man, who was STILL wearing the outfit) lead Tony back to their “stealth get-away vehicle” which turned out to be a Prius. (?????) And now, after two hours and fifty minutes of Wade’s ear-bleeding radio sing-a-longs Tony finally reached over and turned off the radio.

“Hey-“ Wade whined in the poutiest voice Tony had ever heard from another human being.

“How did you find the lab?” Tony interrupted. He had spent this entire time trying to assess Wade’s threat-level to himself, there _had_ been a man with half a head back there after all, but finally his agitation and need for knowledge got the better of him.

“I broke out of one of their lovely units and decided to track down the rest of their bullshit operation and put a stop to it. This was the last one. Lucky number forty-seven. Although to be honest about thirty of the places I tracked down were just glorified filing cabinets. Is this the part of the road-trip where we play 20-questions?” Tony’s eyebrows rose. “No, this is the part where I ask you where you are taking me.” He responded.

“Oh! Well actually I had a hankering for tacos so I thought we would head to THE BEST TACOS IN THE WORLD.” Tony winced as the level of crazy went up in the car but listened as his self-appointed knight in shining spandex continued with “It’s only across two more state lines!”

When they reach their destination, it is a taco truck. A taco truck that they crossed state lines to eat at. So now, Tony sits on a curb-side staring across at Wade who was sitting cross-legged in the parking lot. And while Tony has to admit the food is fucking fantastic he can’t be sure if that is because they are actually the best tacos in the world or if it is just the sweet taste of freedom. Then again, it might just be because he hasn’t had real human food for the past six weeks and said taco truck was somehow, magically across the street from a café. And now holding his second cup of coffee, staring greedily at his third cup just WAITING for him, and eating his fifth taco, Tony can’t help but smile while Wade alternates between talking about salsa stains and creating a limerick for cilantro.


End file.
